How to Buy a Planet (The Cleremont Conjectures, Book 1)
The Zoo if Intelligent Animals (The Cleremont Conjectures, Book 2)
By: D.A. Holdsworth
My Rating: Four out of Five Stars
Best for: 16 and up

Ah, satire…

I read these books backwards.

The idea of reading book 2 before book 1 would normally cause my heart to beat faster and my palms to sweat, but I did it. I saw that book 2, The Zoo of Intelligent Animals, was actually a prequal to book 1, How to Buy a Planet, and I don’t typically LIKE prequals. But in this case, the prequal was better reviewed and seemed to have a more interesting story, so…I read it first.

Did I make the right call? For me, yes. Book 1 was pretty okay, but I probably wouldn’t have felt the need to read book 2. And that would have been sad.

So, let’s talk about The Cleremont Conjectures. Beginning with Book 2.

These are highly original first contacts stories, and I was surprised at how fresh and fun they were. In The Zoo of Intelligent Animals, it’s 1977, SETI has detected ET, and the British government is in a panic to figure out how to respond. As the key players begin to establish themselves, we learn first contact isn’t actually first contact, and a small group has already been talking with THEM for years. Turns out THEY’VE been kidnapping and relocating us–to a Zoo on another planet.

Yep. Humans are the main attraction at the galaxy’s number one tourist destination.

Clearly, an intergalactic rescue operation is the obvious course of action. Antics ensue. The unknown universe becomes known. Fun is had. (For the reader, not so much for the characters…)

How to Buy a Planet takes place in post-pandemic 2024. The governments of the world are deeply in debt due to the pandemic-that-must-not-be-named, and…we’re all teetering on the edge of collapse. Luckily, our world leaders are united in obviously the best of all solutions: They’ve sold Earth.

Thanks to the irresistibly cute aliens, the whole planet agrees: selling the planet was a stroke of genius.

Luckily, three London college students with no money–but lots of all the other hero qualities–have a chance meeting with the one Professor on Earth who has prior experience with our knew extraterrestrial landlords (see the previously-mentioned prequal) who knows there’s something fishy. They team up to figure out the truth, and end up with a crash course in space travel and intergalactic economics so they (hopefully) save us from ourselves before Earth is destroyed.

So, what’d I think? I loved book 2 and I liked book 1. How to Buy a Planet is intended to be satire, but the soapbox stance on responsible economics was a little too in-your-face for me. I don’t love to be preached to without warning, regardless of if I agree or not. I expected some clever message, subtly told through a fun story. Instead I got a lesson on the foibles of modern economics delivered via sledge hammer.

Other than that, I was pleasantly surprised by the quality and originality of both stories, and I recommend both books. If I could go back in time and advise myself on reading book 1 or book 2 first, I’d say to go ahead and read them in publication order, but to not be jaded by the annoying parts of book 1. I think I actually might have enjoyed book 2 more knowing what happened with book 1. So, there you go. Advice you didn’t ask for.

I write book reviews. It’s what I do.

No content concerns. Mild language, no explicit sex or violence. The books are a bit dense and deal with the grown up world…I don’t see young teens really getting into these. I’ll say best for 16 and up.

Happy Reading!